cravings and passions.

Firstly, I am a retarded blogger. It's been 4 (?) months since my last post. Dumb. Well, I decided to start up again because Danielle said that since it's been so long since my last post, I'd never start up again. I prove you wrong, sister. ^^

Secondly, to explain the title . . . . This year I've done/had the desire to do a lot of things that I've never really thought about doing before. The thing that sticks out in my mind primarily is my joining Agape. Earlier this year, I was looking through Rebekah and Rachel's pictures from the tours and I was filled with this insane jealousy, and I mean that in the best possible way. I really felt the need to be consistently and actively serving God. I am excited beyond words to be a part of the choir. Lately we've been rehearsing for the Christmas Cafe. We're singing an awesome revision of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and this haunting a cappella song, The Coventry Carol. They're so different but I love singing them both. I had never heard of The Coventry Carol before, but the story behind it is so interesting. I'm not going to tell you because it would take far too long. Wikipedia it if you really want to know. The best version of the song I've heard is by The King's Singers. It's the kind of song that gives you chills and makes you hold your breath without knowing it.
Another thing that I've been crazy about lately is the cello. I want to play so badly. Blimey, if I could just hold one and pretend I knew how to play, I would be so giddy. buh. Before I die. Please watch this because it is amazing. (Now that you only watched half of it, go back and actually watch the whole thing. Cheater. ;) )

For the past few days I've been thinking a ton about submission. Submission to God, in particular. For a while I felt like my life was pretty set. I'm going to graduate from highschool, then go to culinary school, then maybe travel for a bit, then get married and settle somewhere. That was my mindset for the past few months. But lately, I've been thinking about what *God* wants me to do. What his desire for me is. I didn't seriously think about this until Sunday in youth group. The song Surrender was played and it humbled me so much and brought me to tears. Here are the lyrics.

Surrender
I’m giving You my heart and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of You my King
I’m giving You my dreams,
I’m laying down my rights
I’m giving up my pride for the promise of new life

Chorus:
I surrender all to You All to You
I surrender all to You
All to You

I’m singing You this song
I’m waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear
I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing you
The glory of Your Name
Too know the lasting joy
Even sharing in Your pain

Every bit of that song just cries out at my selfish, single minded plans. That first verse describes so acutely what I need to do in my life right now. This song is so diffiicult for me to sing sometimes, because I know that it points at what's keeping me from God. Everytime I sing it, I feel like I'm singing a promise to God. I've got heaps of growing to do.
It's nice to actually get some of my thoughts from the past few days out so that I can see them.

Anywho, random fact: I saw Where the Wild Things Are and loved it. I know there was this weird hype about it that came out of nowhere, but it was justly hyped about. It wasn't anything I expected, but it was hilarious, heart warming (to use that mushy phrase), and melancholy all at once. I thought it was wonderful. Do yourself a favour and see it.
Also, I love tea. It makes me happy.

Well, I want to go to bed. Hopefully I will not be such a slacker about blogging. I can't be a slacker anyways because I've been saving all these cool things that I have to share. ^^
GoodNight

P A N C K S